genkaitemple | Kurahi Catch-All: Unspoken Thing

Kurahi Catch-All: Unspoken Thing

Unspoken Thing

The hardest thing about life is
when the person who gave you the most memories
becomes a memory.

CODE

how odd it is to be

date chronologically pending

haunted

visuals blank playlist

by someone that is still alive

Date
※ 01/27/24 Injured: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 01/29/24 Insomnia: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 02/11/24 Intimate Bathing: ⋙ Post Series
※ 02/25/24 Loss: ⋙ Post Series
※ 03/04/24 Unspoken Thing: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 03/19/24 Defrosting: ⋙ Post Series
※ 04/17/24 Garden: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 06/03/24 Kurama's Return: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 08/06/24 Picnic: ⋙ Post Series
※ 08/22/24 Domestic Fluff: ⋙ Post Series
※ 09/20/24 Sickness*: ⋙ Resurrection
Chronologically
※ 01/27/24 Injured: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 01/29/24 Insomnia: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 02/11/24 Intimate Bathing: ⋙ Post Series
※ 02/25/24 Loss: ⋙ Post Series
※ 08/06/24 Picnic: ⋙ Post Series
※ 03/19/24 Defrosting: ⋙ Post Series
※ 08/22/24 Domestic Fluff: ⋙ Post Series
※ 03/04/24 Unspoken Thing: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 04/17/24 Garden: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 06/03/24 Kurama's Return: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 09/20/24 Sickness*: ⋙ Resurrection
Pending
※ MM/DD/YY Kissing Scars: ⋙ Timeline
※ MM/DD/YY Eating Together: ⋙ Timeline
※ MM/DD/YY Swear To Me: ⋙ Timeline
Blank

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Considering all of the effort put into posturing about how much he wants his alone time, Kurama has no reason to believe Hiei would rather he stay. By now, seemingly on the road to recovery as he is, the fox is more than prepared for a bit of distance being put between them, especially after effectively stomping out any progress they had made with their conversation the previous night. Which made it all the easier for him to leave, under the misconception that his presence was not wanted and with the full awareness that he could be making himself more useful if he was off finding the right ingredients to help, instead of hanging around the fire apparition for no good reason.

In other words, the decision to leave had made the most sense at the time.

“Having an appetite is a good sign, at least, isn't it?” He almost sounds cheerful about it, relieved as he is for even these minor steps in the right direction. One thing at a time, Hiei, you can't rush recovery. He doesn't look any better, but the fox isn't about to bring attention to that little detail when he could already see the retort coming.

“I suppose an appetite stimulant isn't necessary after all. I do have something for energy, if you think you might prefer to try that in the morning.” Not now when everyone's winding down for the evening, obviously.

“Perhaps you'll be able to return to your own room as well, no more constant surveillance. Just think, soon enough all of this will be behind you.” Then all that doom and gloom about thinking he's dying will feel even more ridiculous than when he'd first brought it up, won't it?

Right now, Hiei would much prefer if Kurama left. Though not for the reasons the fox would know or think of, as he goes on about him having an appetite. He still looks like shit because he feels like shit, but like hell is he going to admit that. Instead, he is going to focus on the rhythm of his breathing, counting to make sure it all just looks... normal. As normal as possible. As normal as he can possibly hope to make it, anyway.

"Mn. It's a start." If he can keep it down, anyway. He reaches for a glass of water as the next wave of nausea rises up, hoping that the active action of swallowing may help to keep things down and prevent him from telling on himself. Thankfully it's room temperature, which is better than something cold as things go with stomachs.

"I don't think it would hurt. At least I could go and sit with the children." It would get him out of the room, at least, and take his focus off of feeling like absolute shit for a little while. He almost debates asking the fox for something to force him to sleep, but.. decides against it for fear he will tell on himself by doing so.

The comment about constant surveillance does at least spur him to laugh, even slightly, eyes rolling. "You're very chipper all of a sudden."

Kurama is not oblivious to the reality that Hiei doesn't look any better. Despite this, he's reporting some improvement, and that's what the fox is focused on. Both in a good faith effort to trust that he knows his own body, and because any change in the right direction is something. Minor as it may be, one day at a time as far as he's concerned.

Still, he's watching him carefully while he drinks that water, eyebrow raising at the fire apparition's response. His head tilts curiously when he laughs with those words, bypassing the first thing Hiei says to answer the latter with a bit of caution to his tone.

“Why wouldn't I be? You're up, moving around enough to visit the garden, and your appetite seems to be returning. All signs of improvement.” He would know, he's seen enough illness in his life. “You do want to get better, don't you?”

Hiei’s eyes roll at the question. Of course he wants to get better. More than anything he would love to no longer have to think about this mysterious illness, about everything stacking up to be done while he languishes and never seems to not be tired. And yet here he is, exhausted and nauseous and hoping that the redhead will leave at some point so he can be miserable alone trying to hold down his light dinner. Above anything it is incredibly annoying that this seems to cling to him like a leech somehow.

They both know the root of it, to some extent, and Hiei is still unwilling to just say it and possibly lighten his own load despite this.

His stomach lurches again, stronger this time, and Hiei’s face slips in to annoyance that is thankfully, somewhat explainable.

“Of course I do. I can’t possibly think of anything worse than staying so tir-“ Hiei is still blessedly fast, a hand clamping over his own mouth as his stomach forces his hand. There’s no hiding it now, even as Hiei still stubbornly fights his body’s want to firmly eject his dinner.

It takes him a moment, and no doubt Kurama’s picky nose will smell the bile in his mouth when he finally speaks again.

“- so tired.”

So much for signs of improvement.

Kurama is not, for his own part at least, entirely sure that Hiei is aware of what's causing his illness. He seems so dead set on acting as if the fox is not firm in his convictions, but perhaps that's his own short-sightedness coming into play. There are still times he feels like he understood Hiei better the day they met than he does now, separated as they are by the fire apparition's insistence.

Sometimes it feels like only spite keeps the wall up between them, but others the fox isn't so certain that Hiei wouldn't truly be happier if he'd never returned in the first place. That his being back is as selfish and misguided as everything leading up to it was in the first place.

He raises an eyebrow at the shift in Hiei's expression, not quite as easy to dismiss as he might think or hope. Kurama is used to the fire apparition growing irritated with him, but this was something different. Only confirmed by the way he catches himself a second time, not fast enough to mask it on the return.

The fox crosses the room without hesitation, pulling the door to outside open without more than a passing glance in his direction as he does. “I wouldn't stay there if you're about to be ill. It will be impossible to sleep in this room tonight, once you've thrown up in it.”

Step outside, get some fresh air. Save them all the trouble.

In this, Hiei doesn’t begrudge Kurama’s fast thinking. It would be pretty difficult to sleep in the room with the lingering smell, though.. he’s slept with worse during the course of his admittedly much shorter life. While it would be a prime way to get the fox to not want to sleep in the room where he is… he also doesn’t want to hear the list of complaints after.

From the redhead and his sister, considering. It takes the fire apparition a moment to gather his wits and make sure his stomach is stable enough, but he moves to stand a bit slower than usual after a few mental checks. The path to the exit is at least very short, which works to his advantage, and after taking a moment to rest in the doorway and take a deep breath of fresh air, steps out and in to the grass.

If this were years ago, having Kurama here to take care of him would hav been a comfort. Now, the tight sensation in his chest is conflict. He both wants an yet despises the redhead’s proximity. Wants him closer and yet wants him to just stay away all in the same breath. As much as the fox’s death had hurt, somehow the fact of having him back again is simply harder to wrap his mind around. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say his heart. At any rate the cool night air is helping, for the moment, and Hiei finally admits in low tones:

“I shouldn’t have eaten so much.” But Yukons had looked so encouraged by the fact he was eating that he had soldiered more than he should have.

Kurama watches as Hiei cautiously stands and moves to exit the room. He doesn't blame him for being wary, being as careful as possible is only logical that close to being ill. No sense doing something that might cause a reaction and defeat the entire purpose of getting up in the first place.

From his end, the fox mostly sees the resistance and resentment, not that he faults Hiei for any of that, either. It must be exhausting to navigate all of this while his body betrays him at every turn on top of it all. Kurama is aware that this situation isn't easy for Hiei, had intended to give him as much space as he needed while they navigate just how to approach things going forward and the sudden illness certainly derailed those plans. Essentially forcing them together despite their previous expectations.

Good intentions and all that, it truly seems as if he's doomed to somehow keep making the same mistakes even despite his best efforts.

“I thought you'd be more cautious.” His fault for having too much faith, clearly. Leaving instead of monitoring the situation and trusting that Hiei would not push himself too far in his sister's company. After all, they both know that he wouldn't want to give her cause for concern, if he could help it. It seems the fox isn't alone on the matter of good intentions turning on him.

However, it is late enough that there isn't much more the fire apparition could possibly get up to, to make this situation worse. If he just goes right to bed and rests there's no reason for the fox to continue monitoring him so closely. At this point, even he is starting to feel like a broken record. “I can get you something for the nausea if you'd like, although... you may want to take it easy for the rest of the night.”

"When have I ever known about being cautious?" He isn't really asking, of course, breathing in and out in a very measured pace, clearly fighting against the way his stomach twists and rolls. He will not elaborate that he simply wanted to keep Yukina off his back too, knowing that Kurama would certainly not see that as reason enough for what he's brought upon himself. Even Hiei at this moment does not find it excuse enough, but this is his punishment all the same.

At the very least he doesn't have any plans to be off in the woods tonight, not like this anyway. There's little to no reason to keep on pushing when the past few days have already pushed him to the edge of what he is willing to endure in order to carry on as normal. The fire apparition is very much not used to feeling ill like this, and would very much like for it to go away as quickly as possible, despite all of his overatures at biting his nose to spite his face that Kurama has now witnessed.

"I have no plans to be up and doing anything." At least not until morning where he was more than likely planning to push himself up in order to keep up witht he children's training in any way that he can. He knows Yukina has had to keep Hina at bay at the very least from visiting him. Though.. if Kurama is offering something for the nausea and it might keep him at least in his periphery a little longer...

"Yes. If it can at least work to help me get to sleep it will be worth it."

Kurama doesn't point out that Hiei was being cautious now, trying to avoid being ill. He does, however, point out the other ways in which it has been true in the past, as if the answer were obvious, all things considered. He expected Hiei not to push himself to the point of illness in front of his sister, which the fire apparition knew would only make the hovering and worry worse, and yet...

“When Yukina is involved, usually.”

He expects that Hiei's patience for all of this is running especially thin. Going from total rest to a glimpse of recovery only to backtrack so severely is probably not doing much for his pride, either. At least, as far as the fox is concerned. While he's been no stranger to napping for several straight hours when needed, this was stretching on far longer and not exactly caused by a life or death situation.

Supervision is one thing, but Kurama certainly doesn't expect Hiei to be up to any actual training himself come morning. Especially now. Not that he's going to mention it, at the moment, instead focused on the tea.

“Of course, it will only be a moment.” Kurama tries not to be too obviously relieved by the fire apparition accepting the offer, tone as neutral as possible before he turns to head for the kitchen. Already mentally putting together the best combination for Hiei's needs as he steps back into the building to get to work.

“Hiei... I realize it is not in your nature to do so, but try to take your time.”

“She was so pleased I was eating at all…” And Hiei does, despite all of his huffing and puffing, like to keep Yukina happy. It’s been different, surrounding the point of Kurama and their former-and-still-continuing relationship recently, but if he can appease her by eating, why not?

Obviously this is his answer, but still.

The fire demon nods his acknowledgment as Kurama retreats to make his tincture or tea, still breathing through the way his stomach rolls and pinches, trying to make him give in to vomiting. He is stubborn as always, long breaths of cold night air sustaining him from giving in until Kurama returns. There is no point in bickering with him that he does not have time to begin with, not to mention not having time to be ill like this. Kurama would never see eye to eye with him on this, and more than likely would see right through it as an excuse he is making in order to try and avoid all of his turmoil over the two of them.

Kurama will find him pacing, arms crossed behind his head when he returns, still breathing in a slow, measured pace, muttering to himself about about how stupid all of this is.

Kurama does not respond, figuring that anything he has to say on the subject at this point will be read as a lecture. He didn't think that Hiei would risk making himself ill again with Yukina in the room, but clearly he has been proven wrong on that front or they wouldn't be in this current situation to begin with.

The redhead returns shortly with a hot cup of tea, watching Hiei pace for a moment before clearing his throat to announce himself once more. “This should help settle your stomach and let you sleep, though it… may benefit you to come inside to drink it.”

There's no sense in lying about just what the mix did, if Hiei does not want something to help him sleep after all, he was welcome to say as much. It wouldn't be the first time he's changed his mind about what he wanted, and at this stage the fox is not inclined to assume.

He hesitates before speaking up again cautiously, as if not expecting the rest to go over well. “Can I do anything else for you?”

Unfortunately for them both, Hiei and self control aren’t all that friendly. He is capable of it from time to time, but only under some cajoling, and even then he is more focused in this moment on forcing his body to heal and move on from whatever it is he has going on that he puts himself right back where he doesn’t want to be.

… Hiei has always been the most proficient at self sabotage as his hobby, after all.

The fire demon stops his pacing as Kurama speaks, taking a moment to consider. At this point the help to sleep seems like his best option, perhaps even the best option considering his body’s near constant protests about doing anything other than feeling ill in some format or another. Eventually he nods, agreeing to the fox’s terms for the moment and moving to return to the room. Movement had done best to distract his mind from what was going on, an d so his hands are already outstretched to the Youko for the tea he’s prepared.

Hiei stares at the tea for a long moment, mulling over Kurama’s question and, for a moment, hesitating to say what he wants to. But they are here already, and so after a moment to sigh at both himself and the situation, Hiei finally asks :

“Stay until I fall asleep, at least.”

Hiei's ability to continually shoot himself in the foot over this illness is remarkable even by his standards, as far as Kurama is concerned. Every time he seems to make any progress they're right back to square one, or at least so it seems. Sometimes he wonders if it has gotten worse or if it isn't just that he's been away from it for so long.

The redhead watches while the fire apparition does as he says without argument or even a sarcastic quip about the delay in his recovery. That alone is enough to get his attention as he passes the tea over, holding himself perhaps a little too still as the fire apparition sighs before responding.

“Of course,” It comes automatically, with no hint of the hesitation that Hiei had expressed in making the request. Kurama's original plan was to return to his own room that night, between the fire apparition's evident improvement and repeated assertions that he'd wanted to be left alone throughout the day. It was his plan, up until all of that had been upended unexpectedly, at least.

After the briefest pause, he adds simply, “As long as you'd like.”

Hiei is quickly growing tired of this entire 'being sick' exercise. Of course he is - and he has little to no idea of what the hell could be causing it, or what could make it recur like this other than his inability to stay still or do anything in moderation. If only he had the ability to have a frank conversation, they wouldn't be here at all. But of course neither of them can do anything by halves, or easily, and even if Kurama might be able to at least make the effort... Hiei is nearly incapable of following suit.

"Mn." The fire apparition agrees with that little sound, eyeing the cup Kurama has brought him for a moment longer. He isn't usually all that keen on anything that will force him in to sleep, but at this moment it seems like the kindest alternative to simply tossing and turning all evening as his stomach gives another restless roll.

Reminded of why he's agreed to this in the first place, Hiei drinks what Kurama has given him, steady but not rushing. If only he'd learned the 'not rushing' part earlier.

Once it's all down, though, the fire demon will ask the question he maybe should have a little earlier :

"How long do I have until I'm out?" Thankfully there isn't any bedding set up left to do, really.

Doing things in moderation would benefit the fire demon's progress, but it's hardly a shock to find that even in this, he's incapable. Kurama might admit to just how surprised he is by the effort Hiei has actually been putting in through everything, all things considered. If it did come up, that is. That would require talking about it, though. Instead, he simply watches as the fire apparition finishes off the tea in one go, frowning slightly with the question that follows.

“Hard to say. The circumstances are unprecedented, as I've said before, and your unique situation only further complicates any attempt at prediction. You've improved a bit since the first dose, for one, which will alter the effectiveness. That's all without factoring in that, on top of all this, tonight's specific brew is an entirely new combination of ingredients.”

Your guess is as good as his, Hiei.

“Fine. I should just lay down now, then.” Make it easier on all of them. He wouldn’t want Kurama to have to pick him up and put him to bed again, nor would be enjoy stressing out his niece and nephew again. He’s heard enough about that first time he’d fainted, and being scolded by a child with Yukina’s face is not exactly on his to-do list when he faces it twice, now.

He is tired, but the constant, nagging feeling that he ought to take a nap is not that unusual thanks to the Jagan and the dragon to begin with. It is simply more annoying when it’s caused by who knows what, and even if he did face up to it… admitting that he was literally making himself sick fretting over this entire situation is a different bag of biting problems. At any rate, he settles on to the mattress with a little sigh, his expression a mixture of frustration and annoyance, both about the situation and himself. Hiei, as proud as he is, hates all of this relying on other people to take care of him or even asking the fox to stay, but…

There’s no denying he’s more likely to fight sleep if there isn’t anyone close by he feels can watch out for them all.

Though it does bring up a thought, however futile it may be -

“Maybe I should contact Mukuro about a tank. I’ll lose my mind if this lasts much longer.”

“I'm sure you will notice yourself growing tired, but whatever makes you most comfortable.” Only because he sounded so inconvenienced by the notion, as if it wasn't entirely his idea to begin with.

Kurama's own reluctance to stick around is entirely that. He knows that Hiei would prefer his space and to do things on his own terms, that much had never changed about him. He's also aware that his presence is somehow related to what started this in the first place, even if his theories on how are educated guesses, at best. The fire apparition may be doing this to himself, but the fox can't help thinking his proximity - and Hiei's jumbled feelings on that matter - only serves to prolong his suffering.

The suggestion to ask Mukuro for a tank is met with momentary silence, the fox not responding right away as he considers before answering. “Perhaps... returning would actually be the most efficient treatment.”

"I have been tired since this started." Not entirely true - he did feel better for that fleeting moment before he'd fallen right back in after his fever had broken. Overall it's a frustrating thing to be dealing with, only made worse by the peaks and valleys along the way. The fire apparition still hasn't even allowed himself to entertain the thought that Kurama's presence, or even the entire situation surrounding him, may be in any way responsible for his illness.

How would be his greatest question, really.

Surely his own mixed emotions couldn't be giving him a fever like this, right?

At any rate, Kurama's agreement almost spurs him to say something about getting him out of his hair, but he bites it down, a bit cautious about starting a fight when he is going to be asleep anytime now.

"... The problem would be getting to her, more than anything else."

“What I mean to say is that you'll have ample warning before needing to lie down.” Of course he's been tired the whole time, that was a large part of the problem, as far as the fox sees it. There's a difference between the ever present drain of illness and being on the verge of passing out, though.

Thankfully Hiei thinks better of his retort, allowing Kurama to remain oblivious to that thought, for now, at least. Ironic considering how much effort the fire apparition has gone into making his presence out to be the inconvenience through most of this.

“With combined resources, we'll be able to work something out. However, that's a decision for tomorrow. I'm sure in the state you're heading, conversation and travel will both be out of question in short order. Based on how previous night's have gone, at least.”

Hiei doesn't want to risk taking the level of absolutely zero filter he experienced the last time he was drugged back to demon world, does he? That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

He almost makes a comment to ask if the fox has forgotten who he is talking to, but wisely leans back against the wall, waiting for drowsiness instead. In a way, he wishes it was almost instantaneous so that there wasn't time to recognize it. Time to be in the middle of something, a thought that he wants to finish before he allows Kurama to go away, but that's not in their cards. Perhaps something to request if this becomes a continuing theme - though he genuinely hopes that this is not something that will recur.

... Though with the continuing tumult between them.. who knew.

"If I cannot go under my own power, I am not going." Like hell will he allow himself to be carried to the caravan, or anything of the sort, even if it pushes him physically to do so. He still has not told Mukuro about the fact that Kurama was back and.. well. Hiei does not plan to tell her anything before she needs to know, or before it suits him to allow her to know. With everything else going on, the last thing he needs is for Mukuro to add herself to the list of people asking her about how things are going with Kurama, or simply smirking at him in that way she always had when he would return to the demon world, from time to time, after they had begun to live together.

The demoness had always found it amusing, actually. If asked she would make some passing, evasive comment about the smell of roses amid cinder or something like that and, blessedly, had left him mostly alone since Kurama's death. In her own way Mukuro had attempted to encourage him to move on, the occasional 'playful' comment about comment about someone wanting his attention, or how she'd noticed him on another.

The problem persists, though, that 'once bitten, twice shy' remains true for Hiei. Loving and losing has not made him fonder, instead it has made the fire apparition twice gun shy about placing anything close to trust in another person perhaps ever again. He had been steady on his own - and it had been his own foolishness to let the fox in, despite what he knew of it all.

"Mukuro does not know you are back - " Meaning she hasn't said anything about it yet so he is counting that as does not know. " - And I want to keep it that way."

“Suit yourself.” Kurama has not forgotten who he was talking to, or the way Hiei persistently remained awake long enough to say whatever he was driven to, regardless of the dragon's use or the various tea concoctions offered to him by the fox. Which is exactly why he'd said that, in the first place. He's not about to argue why or how the other demon should be handling any of this though, even if he is fairly certain a break from their present back and forth might do him some good.

His eyebrows lift as Hiei says she's unaware of his presence there, as if that should make any difference at all in any of this. If the fire apparition had remained at the temple since, the fox might entertain the idea that Mukuro was unaware of his reasons for being there so long, but Hiei had come and gone enough times now after Kurama's return that he can't imagine she'd be so oblivious to miss the signs.

“Afraid she'll be jealous that's the reason you're spending so much time here?” He doesn't think that's the case at all, as evidenced by the blatant tease in his tone, but the quip comes so naturally that it's out before he thinks better of it. It's more that he's calling the fire apparition's bluff, even if it could just be denial on Hiei's part to think so.

“You don't truly think she hasn't noticed, do you?” Maybe saying nothing is tactical on her part, deliberate to keep Hiei from knowing she's realized, whatever her own reasons. The fox may be old, but Mukuro is older, it's hard to say what motive she may have for how she operates, but he doubts she's saying nothing without cause. Even if her logic is just to give Hiei time to work it out and bring it up on his own terms.

Time would tell.

Part of his stanch position that she did not know was mostly the fact that he wished she did not. Of course it would explain a lot of his absences lately - and sometimes his volatile moods when he would return - but it wasn’t as though the former king had ever out and out asked. He was her right hand and her ally - but it didn’t mean she kept tabs on him day and night.

They had an understanding, still. Even after all these years she knew that there was something there, no matter how wrung out he had been returning to her compound knowing Kurama was gone. Even after he’d spent countless hours doing absolutely nothing but wallowing in his own miseries simply because he could.

“Jealous?” A huff of an actual laugh leaves him, shifting slightly as drowsiness begins to settle in, but not quite ready to lay down. His arms cross over his chest, a subconscious move to close off.

“If she does, she hasn’t yet told me I am an idiot.” Because he is, and he knows it. For being here, for spending time around the one person he both wanted with all his being and yet knew he ought to stay away from. “And I prefer her quiet, on that subject.”

She can beat him in to the ground infinitely for all he cares - he simply does not want to hear the lecture or the subtle jokes.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kurahi Catch-All: Unspoken Thing

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject