genkaitemple | Kurahi Catch-All: Unspoken Thing

Kurahi Catch-All: Unspoken Thing

Unspoken Thing

The hardest thing about life is
when the person who gave you the most memories
becomes a memory.

CODE

how odd it is to be

date chronologically pending

haunted

visuals blank playlist

by someone that is still alive

Date
※ 01/27/24 Injured: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 01/29/24 Insomnia: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 02/11/24 Intimate Bathing: ⋙ Post Series
※ 02/25/24 Loss: ⋙ Post Series
※ 03/04/24 Unspoken Thing: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 03/19/24 Defrosting: ⋙ Post Series
※ 04/17/24 Garden: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 06/03/24 Kurama's Return: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 08/06/24 Picnic: ⋙ Post Series
※ 08/22/24 Domestic Fluff: ⋙ Post Series
※ 09/20/24 Sickness*: ⋙ Resurrection
Chronologically
※ 01/27/24 Injured: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 01/29/24 Insomnia: ⋙ Dark Tournament
※ 02/11/24 Intimate Bathing: ⋙ Post Series
※ 02/25/24 Loss: ⋙ Post Series
※ 08/06/24 Picnic: ⋙ Post Series
※ 03/19/24 Defrosting: ⋙ Post Series
※ 08/22/24 Domestic Fluff: ⋙ Post Series
※ 03/04/24 Unspoken Thing: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 04/17/24 Garden: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 06/03/24 Kurama's Return: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
※ 09/20/24 Sickness*: ⋙ Resurrection
Pending
※ MM/DD/YY Kissing Scars: ⋙ Timeline
※ MM/DD/YY Eating Together: ⋙ Timeline
※ MM/DD/YY Swear To Me: ⋙ Timeline
Blank

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[From here.]

He watches Hiei in confusion with that explanation, not sure what to make of it. It wasn't much of a surprise that the fire apparition recalled such a detail - maybe, that he'd acknowledged it out loud, though.

Before he can even think of a response, Hiei continues and Kurama's left momentarily speechless. The fox had often spoken of the plant, but the conviction and accusation to the demon's tone suggests that he's been directly offended by its neediness, himself.

“… It can be quite fragile.” There's a pause as he considers his next words, thrown off by this whole encounter and trying to parse his way through it. That Hiei seemed as if he was personally invested in the welfare of this specific plant, especially.

These are your favorite.

The last thing that the fire apparition says, that they'd died first, takes a minute to sink in and for a moment the fox simply stares at him. He'd watched over them. That was the only logical conclusion, that he'd tried to keep up with them in the redhead's absence and this overgrown wilderness had been his reward for whatever effort that work entailed.

The realization left him dumbstruck. So much being said between the lines that Hiei would be unable - and unwilling - to say out loud, himself.

Without thinking, as if without remembering how delicate this situation is, Kurama steps forward - paying no mind to any boundaries it might be crossing - and wraps his arms around the fire apparition, practically crushing the smaller demon to himself, wordlessly.

Hiei would never say that he had been here more often than he was now to watch over Kurama's garden. Despite his conflicted feelings surrounding everything to do with Kurama choosing to move on to the spirit world despite his many impassioned, insistent conversations to convince him otherwise, Kurama's garden had been something. Some kind of connection, something he'd craved in the rift of having something he hadn't even really thought possible only to be on his own again. He knew that, technically, he was not fully alone again, but Yusuke and Yukina could never fill the rift that Kurama had left.

At the time, the fact that he couldn't keep Kurama's favorite plant of them all alive had been salt in the gaping wound. If nothing else, the garden had been an attempt to be close to the fox again, somehow, even if it wasn't literally physical. The scent of flowers had been soothing while they lasted, on the occasion that Hiei took a moment to try and seek such a solace.

Eventually, he'd grown jaded with the work, the way that his effort seemed to only give him wilted and dead plants, the wilderness encroaching on something beautiful Kurama had made. It had withered and died in the same way the Youko had, and Hiei had only grown more bitter at the realization. That he should know better, that things in his hands, eventually, withered and went away.

The fire demon catches on to Kurama's movements quickly enough, a hand reaching upward and out as Kurama closes in. His claws dig into the redhead's torso, teeth grinding as his every muscle tenses, but he doesn't force the Youko off of him. Yes, he could have violently rebuked this move, of course he could have, but -

But nothing, there is no excuse for his resistance to forcing Kurama to let him go other than he is at war with himself. A part of Hiei really wants to sink in to him, to take the Youko in again, but the other, now thrice shunned in some format or another, allows a growl to roll up his throat, low and threatening.

"What the hell are you doing?" It doesn't sound nearly as angry as he means it to, one fist clutched at his side and the other hand poised to shove him away. None of this has made sense since Kurama had opted to pass, and continues to make no sense as time moves on. Hiei makes a paltry attempt to pull away, pushing at Kurama at the same time.

"Get off of me!"

All he'd really wanted was a peaceful death. Having lived a human life he'd witnessed it over and over, the way that they often grew old and died surrounded by loved ones. Especially after losing his father so young and nearly losing his mother shortly after that, Kurama's perspective around death had changed over time. For one, he had a human family he couldn't just vanish on - entangled as he was in their lives - death was a natural conclusion to severing those ties.

He had the opportunity to grow old and die naturally that neither demons nor foxes were typically afforded. The reward of a violent death in battle wasn't appealing to the fox spirit in the same way it was to his partner, but he knew better than to think the fire apparition would ever understand his thoughts on the matter.

Of course, he knew from their many conversations on the topic that Hiei would not stick around to witness it and he'd accepted that long before the time came. He wasn't happy about it, but Hiei needed to prioritize his own well-being, and he had. Kurama couldn't fault him for doing that, he hadn't ever expected any differently.

It wasn't that he didn't care about the harm his decision would cause, but he had faith in the fire apparition's ability to survive, adapt and move on. Faith that was repeatedly tested over the years as he was able to watch Hiei's path of self-destruction accompanied by Koenma and Yusuke complaints. They'd both let him know what they thought of his rationalization and the reality that had actually followed countless times - Kurama's patience and time spent reading a situation before he acted was making it worse for everyone, Hiei included. How long could he continue like this without interfering?

The fact was that Kurama's favorite plant is his favorite due in part to that difficulty Hiei so resented. A plant so sensitive it evaded touch, then spent energy recovering from it. From a gardening standpoint it was a challenge to care for, requiring a gifted hand and patience to nurture; particular as it was about both light and water consumption. Despite this, it could also be an invasive species under the right circumstances as with plenty of sunlight and room to grow, it spreads quickly, monopolizing the space around it. From a demonic position, with the right energy it became one of the most dangerous plants in his arsenal, able to hunt prey by the smallest vibrations. He had especially come to appreciate that duality as a human, insistent on growing it when he'd started gardening as a human child.

"I believe it's called a hug." As if that was what Hiei was asking, rather than showing his offense at the sheer audacity. The redhead ignores the prick of claws as Hiei's body tenses against his. The fact that he's not violently pushed away is more than enough for now.

Hiei attempts to pry himself free and Kurama's grip tightens reflexively. He's not oblivious to the fact that this might be the last time he gets even this much from the fire apparition. While he's fairly certain that won't be the case, the fox always prepares for every possibility regardless, he always had. Hiei coming to his senses and refusing him outright was still a possibility, after all.

"In a moment."

If Hiei would take pity on him for that long, at least. He suspected that he needed this just as much - if not more - than Kurama had.

All of Hiei's complaints and selfish cajoling of the fox before he had gone through with his plans were exactly that - selfish. Hiei knew it and yet he persisted, time and time again, to ask the fox to come down from his plans all on his own. He hadn't, and though Hiei had stepped back and allowed his partner what he wanted.. his own damages made it sting. Things that they had never talked about, whether by Hiei's refusal to speak of it or the fact it had simply never been a topic they'd thought to discuss. Though he would not be technically alone with Yusuke around, Kurama's absence had been a gaping hole that refused to be filled.

No matter how he had attempted to make himself move on, had made every ounce of effort to distract himself, occasionally he would think to ask Kurama, to go back and visit him, and remind himself that there was no more Kurama brought it all back again. And despite all of his complaints about Kurama's clingy tendencies, his insistence on holding or otherwise touching him.. gentle touch had become something that Hiei found himself pining for, on occasion. Trusting other demons with his person, though, was a tall order. Instead, the fire demon had opted to isolate and take his frustrations out on anyone and everyone who crossed his path.

The fire demon growls again as Kurama tells him it's a hug - he knows, of course, but his irritation at Kurama's calm dismissal of his offense is apparently everlasting. The other demon pulls him closer as he tries to leave and Hiei snarls again, pressing away with more force, struggling against Kurama's insistent grip. As much as he wants to sink in and enjoy it.. it will only give him more to miss.

"Fuck off!" Hiei pointedly does not flash his energy, though it may help to encourage Kurama to get off of him, not wanting to alert Yukina or the children.

"You don't get to come back here and just - act like this is the same!"

Kurama was far too used to Hiei's variations of offense, even after this long of a break, to mistake his half hearted efforts for an actual desire to be left alone. Hiei's abrasive and unforgiving nature wouldn't make this easy, but the fox had never expected him to. The mask had come down since their initial meeting, where the redhead may have originally entertained the idea that the fire apparition would have preferred he stay dead.

Still, he'd meant it when he said it was only for a moment. Kurama was fully intending to let go as Hiei so eloquently tells him to fuck off, but the next thing the fire apparition snaps at him actually has the opposite effect. As if holding him captive there could possibly communicate everything that words could not, guilt and apologies for not considering his needs when making that crucial decision, decades ago. Perhaps, if Kurama had known of his past losses before he would have reconsidered, given in to the fire demon's insistent demands instead of creating this rift between them that he must now fix.

There'd been no warning that Hiei was coming, he had obviously hoped to avoid detection and making a scene now would attract unwanted attention - but the fire apparition was capable of making his point clear if he truly wanted to be released. Those claws alone could do far more damage if he thought to be quiet about it, but Kurama suspected that the reality was more complicated than that. Perhaps that Hiei was angered by his own warring emotions over the whole ordeal, making him - the source of those emotions - an easy target.

Fifty years was close enough to half of Hiei's life to feel like forever, fifty years was such a small fraction of his own time that the fox had forgotten more of his memories than that without even noticing. The difference in time that Kurama was gone compared to the amount of time they'd had together was negligible held up against their respective lifespans, but this early on for Hiei that was a lifetime of loss to contend with.

“This is hardly what I would consider the same, actually.”

Despite Hiei's every threat of violence, his predisposition toward it for most things - he still does not want to be the source of an injury for Kurama. Though the trust between them is fairly broken, and Hiei is mistrustful of the fox's reasons for hanging on to him like this.. they had once been each other's trusted partner. No matter what had happened since then, and particularly since Kurama was not back up to a formidable amount of power.. he did not want to injure him.

Deep down it is also because there is still a part of him that feels affection for Kurama, but he would never put a voice to that now or ever. As far as he is still concerned this chapter of their time together is closed, permanently, and there is no use in even entertaining that there could be affection between them again.

Still, the redhead's insistence to hang on to him has Hiei hissing and spitting again, replacing his hand with his elbow to try and keep Kurama at some distance, a constant tension to push himself away despite how much he wants to be closer. "That was what you wanted."

Hiei's teeth bare in aggression, clearly keyed up by not only his proximity to the fox, as well as the topic of conversation. "So leave me alone."

Kurama does not realize that Hiei is even factoring such things. Not wanting to harm him, of course, but that he might consider him too weak to risk injuring would likely be met with insult. Just because the redhead chose his human form over the power of an Upper S Class demon didn't disqualify him from holding his own in a fight. He does know that it is partly, at least, the fire demon's lingering affection for him that gives him this much leniency, but not necessarily how strong those feelings still are.

As Hiei continues, the fox finally releases him. Caught off guard once again during this encounter, now by the accusation thrown at him. This hadn't been what he'd wanted, it was the collateral damage of his choices and the actions that followed, but never part of his plan. He should have seen before now how things would have turned out, how his wishes would have been perceived.

It wasn't his intention to keep Hiei prisoner there, held against his will. Rather, the more the fire apparition fought the easier it was to see a window closing forever. Hiei would not make the mistake of letting him get close enough to pull this stunt again, he was certain of that much. Not with the mindset he's currently in, at least.

The first thing Kurama thinks to respond with is that Hiei should not presume to understand what he wanted, not when he was so far off the mark. He can't really say that though, and then follow up with what does come next. The fire demon would only call out his hypocrisy in doing so if he tried.

“I wouldn't advise that you continue pretending as you are, Hiei. Do you really underestimate me so much, to think I don't know why you can recall exactly which plant died first? Did you forget that I can smell every surface you've touched in that room during my absence? You may hide the truth, but I can tell when you're lying.”

Being wrong about Kurama’s intentions and his own perceptions has never stopped Hiei from jumping to the worst possible thought before. Headstrong as ever in his youth and lacking wisdom, the fire demon is quite assured in what he is throwing at his former partner in accusation. The fox had wanted to be away, to no longer be with them, so why not just stay there? Of course he doesn’t quite grasp the chaos he’d caused in the spirit world, or how his actions following had kept Kurama from any considerable rest..

But who knows if that would change his view or if the fire demon would contend that he deserved it.

Hiei sneers as Kurama points out the obvious - there had been some inkling that the fox would eventually bring this up, and thankfully he can take a few steps back now. The physical space between them calms a bit of the inner conflict, but only ever so slightly.

Still, Hiei bristles as always at being called out on his own double speak, quickly firing back with every intention to hurt Kurama in return.

“Forgive me my moments of weakness, Kurama.” The sarcasm is evident, admitting that he has been caught by his own admissions for lingering and attempting to care for the things that his former partner once held dear to him. Sharp red eyes narrow as he continues, attempting to draw a line in the proverbial sand, again, for where he stands.

“It won’t happen again.”

One reason Kurama would never dream of telling Hiei the truth of what went on behind the scenes at Spirit World was exactly the fact that he suspected the fire demon to read it that way. That Kurama deserved it, that he'd only returned to properly leash and domesticate his charge for getting too wild again. The worst possible interpretation of the entire scenario, only hurting both of them further in the process.

Green eyes snap up sharp and calculating at Hiei's words. They may be intended to hurt but Kurama only sees the irony in his choice, of all the biting things that his former partner could have thrown back at him. Forgiveness certainly wasn't on the redhead’s shortlist.

His expression softens before he speaks again, voice lower and lacking the sharp accusation of before.

“You know that you are not the one with something to be forgiven, Hiei.”

Right now he would very likely determine this mission of Kurama's that way. Not that he had come back because he cared about his well-being, not that the fox may still hold some affection for him somewhere in there. Thankfully he knows nothing of the other reasons Kurama is back to the world of the living, though it makes the situation only slightly less twisted up in his own conflicted emotions.

The fox's change to a softer tone brings Hiei a slight moment of pause, unsure how to proceed now that Kurama has thrown him off kilter by not continuing to stoke his aggression. This hadn't been the reaction that Hiei had anticipated, instead expecting Kurama to have something equally sharp to fire back with.

There is a long pause as Hiei seems to debate, eventually turning to face away, trying to prevent himself from revealing any more than he already had in this conversation, sighing lowly. All that wind knocked out of his sails with one small sentence of quiet words that he needs to hear and yet does not want to.

"If I stand here while you say what you want to, will you finally leave it alone?"

Kurama had come back for Hiei, not to appease Yusuke, not to do Koenma's bidding. If he couldn't get through to the fire apparition, he had no other reason to be here and no purpose, his efforts will have been for nothing. It wasn't like him not to have plans for every possible outcome, but he'd have plenty of time to figure something out if it came to that.

Hiei pauses and he waits. The fox isn't looking for a fight, quite the opposite, hoping the other demon will give in enough to meet him halfway on this. Even if he's not expecting it, certainly not any time soon, antagonizing him wasn't going to get either of them anywhere when he'd only hoped to be able to move forward.

At first, Kurama thinks he might be about to leave when he turns with that sigh. Again, the one thrown off by the question that follows instead, the unexpected open invitation that puts him on the spot to get everything out all at once. He hadn't been prepared for his former partner's presence that day, nevermind the current turn of events.

“I can not do that.” He admits it hesitantly, afraid that doing so will have Hiei dismissing him before he could even think to finish. “While I am prepared to face the consequences of my actions - whatever they may be - I am not so certain that I could possibly say anything that would make a difference now. While I will not blame you if you never forgive me, and perhaps you think me selfish for this as well, I do not believe that is what you truly want, either. I am aware that nothing could take back the harm that I've caused and I must live with that regret. Regardless, I can not simply leave it alone, not as it is.”

It had been Hiei's prerogative to appear here without announcing himself ahead of time, but now that they were both here... he wasn't even sure what his intention had been. He had whittled away free time in Makai before without feeling the urge to appear here to be with Kurama, Yukina and the children. Deep down he knows it's because he yearns for the peace that the fox's presence provides, even if now it is a bit more rife with mixed feelings.

Not looking at him helps - or at least it does at the moment. There's no distraction with the combined thrill and betrayal of knowing that Kurama is back, that someone he'd thought he would have to content himself with never seeing again is suddenly there, again.

"... I can't trust you." It's quiet, but he's still talking. Somehow, miraculously, Hiei is still standing there to talk. Expressing what he feels even if it is not really what the other man may want to hear... or maybe he does expect it, who knows by now. He had trusted him once, and this is where they had ended up. To trust the same fox spirit again seemed a lot like a very stupid decision. Beyond that, he is not sure he could withstand something like that again.

Kurama had not been expecting any of this today. Had no warning to shield his emotions and prepare his mind for this roller-coaster of feelings and proverbial land mines. The feeling that at any moment one misstep could disrupt the balance, and he'd already pushed the fire apparition so far with physical contact that had lasted longer than it should have.

By now the chore of watering those plants had been forgotten in favor of this - the uninterrupted secret time he had Hiei's attention without anyone even knowing they were there.

The words catch him by surprise, not what was said, but that the fire apparition spoke at all. Contrary to one's expectations, the fox is thrilled to hear them. To hear anything so open and honest from Hiei at this stage leaves him a little stunned.

“Hiei-” It's a good thing that his back is turned, makes it easier on both of them, though the redhead would never admit it. There was nothing he could offer that would make up for this.

“I would not expect you to, perhaps ever again. I made my decision and I can not change it now. However, you know that I was never dishonest with you about my plans and I have no reason to begin lying to you going forward.”

"You weren't." He can admit that much - there's no use in pretending like he hadn't heard that plan many times over, and toward the end of Kurama's human lifespan had begun attempting to rail against it even harder. At first, he'd thought of it as a bit of morbid theater for the fox or something if he's honest. After all, how many times had they had quiet, private little conversations murmured between them like secrets in the same room he'd come back to again and again since Kurama had died?

Hiei's brows furrow, jaw working as he tries to place it all together. Tries to figure out what he feels he can say in this moment, or whether he wants to just trash the discussion altogether. Did it matter, now that it had happened? Knowing that Kurama also acknowledges the damage done to any concept of 'them' that the youko had fought so hard to put together over many years and much strenuous effort?

"But you also -" He stops again, sighing, clearly struggling within himself but also fighting to make his end of things known. More than he had already tried to, anyway.

"You said you wouldn't leave me. Many times." And Hiei had taken that to heart, as seriously as any other agreement he had made with the Youko as his partner in many things beyond heists as it would come to pass. A little too much, as Kurama had left him in a very permanent fashion. An issue a little too close to heart for the imiko who had never had anyone except perhaps Yukina to lean on or trust so implicitly prior to allowing Kurama in. A little of his own private damages rearing their ugly heads yet again in Hiei's short lifespan.

He wasn't expecting the straightforward agreement. Hiei knew his plans, had fought him on it to nearly the very end, that much they could both agree on, so it was difficult for him to understand just where the actual issue was. Kurama had never believed in empty promises, certainly not in this context. It was easy enough to think that perhaps the fire demon had been in denial, he'd always been the most repressed of the group - by his own admission - and the fox could only assume he'd refused to see what he hadn't wanted to until given no other choice.

Certainly not that he'd expected him to pull out at the last second, as if growing old was such a fun adventure to do by choice in that way.

The redhead waits, patient and frankly afraid to spook the fire apparition into cutting this conversation short. He didn't think everything was ruined and irreparable, just that Hiei needs time to lick his wounds and understand what the spirit fox's return truly means.

He waits, wanting to be certain Hiei is done making his point when it hits him where this sense of betrayal could be traced back to.

“Hiei...” His voice comes out strained, almost a whisper as nails dig into his palms in an effort to keep his composure. It was far too late to clear this up, what good did it do when this damage was done-?

“I promised you my life, that's true. I swore to never leave you as long as I lived and I kept my word, I devoted my life to you.” He'd sacrificed a lot in the ways of human normalcy for it, as well. Not that he'd ever had any dreams of starting a family no matter how rooted he'd stayed within his human identity, even now, choosing that human form over his demon body. Or that Hiei could ever truly appreciate how complicated those choices had made things for him.

A human life was all too short up against the centuries an apparition would live. An extremely stupid oversight on his part now that it had come to light. Maybe he wouldn't want to hear the rest but Kurama continues anyway, breathing slowly before adding, cautiously.

“That hasn't changed.”

It had been partial denial, of course. What being wants to face down their partner’s mortality in the face? The reality that he would have many more centuries alone than he’d had years with him had hit a little harder. Add on too his already fruitful complexes about abandonment and being alone and the fire apparition had been a twisted up mess ever since.

Resolving himself to be alone had been easy enough. He’d been taught the lesson three times now - how many would it take for it to well and truly sink in?

That bitter tone seeps back in as Kurama goes on, that thought in mind. How many times did he need to learn that lesson?

“You shouldn’t have.” Devoted a life that short to him, a sweet kind of cruelty for a demon such as himself. Hiei had been irreparably broken since he had been born, after all. And no matter how often the others tried to tell him that he was different, that he could be better… his habits won out.

“I don’t need to be taught a lesson a fourth time about being alone.”

Kurama had not thought - and that was the problem, wasn't it? - that Hiei wouldn't move on with time. He had thought that he'd learn through love and affection, going on to repeat the process in the future with someone else. He'd never imagined the fire apparition wouldn't pull out of this and adapt, as he was so good at doing otherwise. Obviously, he'd overestimated his own abilities in this case, while underestimating the other in the process - another thing he should be used to by now with the number of near death experiences he carried.

If he'd truly understood, he would have taken it back. Even now, aspects of Hiei remained a mystery to him, seemingly contradictory in nature as he was. If he'd thought that his partner couldn't recover from his passing, he wouldn't have left in the first place. Perhaps he'd had too much faith in his adaptability, dismissive as he was of Hiei's protests.

You shouldn't have he says, and the redhead flinches. They were so different, Hiei resentful of the fact it happened to begin with, while the fox holds those memories so close despite what they've now become. It was only a fraction of his own life, but that last century had meant the most for him in a number of ways and he could not regret them.

“You're not alone.” For one, he had Yukina and he'd have Yusuke if he'd just allow it. Kurama had gotten an earful about that when Koenma wasn't around to hear it, of course. For another, if the fire demon would let him in, he had no intentions of leaving this time.

He'd been prepared for Hiei to turn him away, want nothing to do with him and resent him for his actions. He'd been prepared for Hiei to be difficult, to lash out with the intention of harming him for the pain he'd caused, because he was hurt. Not that he considered the fire demon broken, but he deserved no less than either of those things.

What Kurama had not been equipped to deal with was the realization that his return was actively causing harm - perhaps worse than if he'd stayed gone in the first place. He should have been, he should have planned ahead for this outcome but if he'd seriously considered the amount of harm he'd inflict by simply showing up again, he wouldn't have done it.

Then they'd both remain miserable. At least this way, he knows he tried.

Those words ring in his ears, repeating in his mind as he tries to make sense of this. A fourth time. Another missing piece of this puzzle, but even that much wasn't a whole lot to go on and it wasn't as if he could ask the fire apparition directly. Not while they were at odds like this, at least. Kurama wasn't expecting him to be forthcoming with the details of whatever that was referring to, but he files it away nonetheless.

“Then it seems my return has been for nothing.”

Clipped, seeming almost impatient as he tries to reel his own emotions back in and under control.

Hiei would have rather been left as he was, withdrawn and alone as he had been before ever crossing paths with Kurama in the first place. To have him, their relationship, to grow comfortable and feel as safe as he ever has in the Youko's presence and then have it torn away was far worse than never knowing what it was like in the first place. He could have saved himself so much in the way of mental anguish by simply refusing to grow that close with the Youko, by keeping things absolutely business.

Moving on is out of the question when he doesn't want to feel it again at all. In the ruthless world of demons, it was simple math - to not open himself up for this kind of mental and physical pain was the simplest path to never dealing with it again. Spending so much time and effort on another person who could be as fleeting as his knowledge of what affection was like did not make sense - he could simply focus on his training and keep his mind in a single line.

The fire apparition offers a sharp tch as Kurama says he is not alone. He is not, not with Yukina and the children, but it is not the same. And Yusuke, once he realizes that Hiei is the same as ever and will not change, will go anyway. He was simply saving him the effort of trying to "redeem" him in that way that Yusuke Urameshi was so damn adept at. Sinking into old habits in response to trauma was old hat.

The clipped tone from Kurama seems to set off something in him, Hiei turning again to face Kurama with that wild edge in red eyes, voice a low growl as he fires back, acerbic. It would seem some part of that has hit a nerve.

"I asked you to stay, not to come back!"

The many differences between them had both made this relationship possible in the way that it was and yet somehow impossible to navigate in this way. Kurama had become of the mindset that it was better to have loved and lost, to experience that time shared with someone, and that may have just been the biggest issue all along. The thing he wanted Hiei to experience, to share with him, the fire demon would have been happier to never know. It made the betrayal of it cut all that much deeper if he couldn't even appreciate the highs for the lows.

The tch in response is not unexpected but Hiei turning to face him was. He had been waiting for the fire apparition to grow tired of this back and forth instead, the fact that he hasn't up and left by now is making it very difficult for Kurama to stay ahead of this.

His tone was merely the result of his last desperate attempt to maintain himself in this turbulent discussion, as his body reverted back to a defense mechanism he hadn't been subjected to in decades. By the time Hiei turns to face him, the redhead has vanished completely, replaced instead by a surge of more powerful energy and the demon he so prefers.

“You'll be the first that I inform, once I've mastered time travel.” The retort has no real bite to it, he's tired, too tired to continue arguing about how wrong he'd been when he'd already admitted as much more than once now. “Until then, I can not change the past.”

Of all the things that Hiei could anticipate, turning back around to come face to face with Yōko Kurama was not one of them. Not that it would change what he had to say, of course, and with the proverbial cat out of the bag, Hiei lets loose with energy too. It would alert the children even more than the new energy of Kurama’s demon form, but hopefully it wouldn’t mean they would come running there headlong.

There is no way to be sure that he wouldn’t be attacked shortly, of course, and doesn’t want to have to calculate for the children’s safety as well.

Despite it all, Hiei still does not want to fight Kurama like this.

Still, the comment about time travel and being unable to change the past spurs a half-hearted sneer, Hiei all too able to continue firing off half truths as his wishes in the moment. Pushing at the Yōko even as he sees the evidence of his inner turmoil standing before him.

“Then leave us there, Kurama. You can hold that pretty little story in your head as long as you want. Who I am to stop you?” From dying, from insisting that he was still dedicated to him despite that forced separation, for thinking that they might stand a chance now.. the list goes on.

Kurama isn't entirely certain whether Hiei's energy surge was meant as a threat or not, seeing that it was intentional rather than a result of involuntary transformation. Which is enough to have his posture straightening cautiously as he watches him, wheels clearly turning.

The words that follow have golden eyes narrowing in thought and he watches Hiei for a long moment without responding, dragging out the silence as he considers his next move. The redhead's inflection of tone and expressive nature are no longer there to be so easily read, the fire demon's barbs seemingly falling on deaf ears as the fox responds with an air of indifference.

“If that is truly what you want.”

Edited 2024-03-27 17:46 (UTC)

The loss of his human form’s more available expressions is one he feels keenly. As much as Hiei sometimes prefers the silver yoko in this form, he is also keenly aware that he should watch his step, now. That Kurama here is not as forgiving as his human form, and damn near impossible to read on top of it.

He wouldn’t dare to use the Jagan in either form to know, either.

Hiei watches Kurama warily, ready to dart or grab his sword if need be. Still he’s unsure as to what the motivation is here, though he does have the gall within him to growl lowly as Kurama speaks.

No, it isn’t what he truly wants, but what he thinks is better to protect himself. Kurama surely knows this, as he’d pointed out before, but as it stands now Hiei refuses to budge from the hill he has apparently elected to die on here.

“Y-“ Hiei finally gathers himself to respond, teeth bared in what had probably been an emphatic, untrue confirmation that this was what he wanted, when a little voice pipes up behind him.

‘Uncle Hiei?’ The fire apparition deflates near immediately, turning to find Hina as the brave one who chose to actually investigate what was going on. Even Hiei can’t pretend to be annoyed as she shuffles closer at his acknowledgement, energy settling as she attaches herself shyly behind her Uncle’s leg, curious about the “new” person in front of her.

‘Who’s that?’ Hiei sighs, unable to maintain any kind of aggression with her there, a hand reaching gently for her shoulder.

“Kurama. It’s fine-” Hiei pauses, then, listening to the small sounds he hears behind them. “Are you all out here?”

‘Well we knew you were here-’

Hiei sighs, resisting the urge to curse even though it’s a fair point.

The demon form was an effective mask in times like these, not that he typically needed it - when he went into a situation prepared to shield himself, he could do so with little effort, even as Shuichi. This war of wills was far more dangerous than any straightforward battle though, he wasn't the one that wanted to shut the other out. Not consciously, at least.

Kurama's gaze shifts with the growl, expression remaining as neutral as ever before the slightest flicker of a reaction almost starts across his features - quickly enough turned to surprise at the sound of a completely different voice interrupting them.

Golden eyes lower to Hina with the same automatic smile typically reserved for the children - even if it might be a hair tense - as if to support her Uncle’s response concerning his identity. If anything, the presence of the children that so calm the fire apparition only set him more on edge.

The fox can't help the short laugh that escapes him with her response though. It was true enough, and something about the two of them being caught unawares by a pack of children was a little too much for him at the moment. In the flurry of activity that follows with the rest of the children surfacing, Kurama debates making a quick exit.

“I suggest you consider your answer more carefully next time, Hiei.” He knew exactly what the fire demon was about to do before being interrupted, despite being warned not to lie to him. In this form especially, Kurama was aware of every little tell that he gave off. ”I'd hate for you to make a decision that you come to regret.”

Hiei will be thankful, later, that the children had managed to sneak up on them. At the very least they managed to send in the youngest sibling fast enough that they didn't hear very much of the tense conversation between them, but it was enough that their energy spiked where Yukina could feel it, Hiei supposed. Bad enough that the ice apparition meets him with a steely expression as he returns the children to their part of the compound, ushering the fire apparition away from the children to speak with her.

... Kurama will no doubt hear the kids talking about how mad their mother was, and the fact that they'd had a brother and sister discussion that the children were not allowed to be privvy to. At the very least the rest of his impromptu visit passes without incident, but it is because they are actively avoiding one another's presence. When they had to be in the same room, Hiei kept his attention on the kids and Yukina, leaving the tenuous subject of their relationship where they had kept it when they last spoke.

Hiei returns, again unannounced, energy suppressed, a few weeks later. He slips in quietly and quickly, though not without some marker that he has arrived - a pungent waft of blood and some spatter on the wooden walkway outside of Hiei's door mark his arrival. He doesn't even spare the focus to fully close the door, his attention wrapped up in getting at least a passing dressing on the injury until Yukina returned. Kurama is there of course, he can smell him in the area, but the fire demon's pride prevents him from going to find him for assistance.

The fox will find Hiei with wrapping in his teeth, some poultice of unknown origin slathered as best he could on a large, rather wide injury that stretches over his shoulder. At the moment he is attempting to make a sling to keep his arm from moving and re-opening the injury with movement.

.. He's a bit clumsy one-handed, but he may eventually get it done.

For the most part, Kurama keeps his distance. Partially to give Hiei space, partially needing it for himself. There was a limit to his ability to remain open and vulnerable while being met with little in return, that calm collected demeanor that came so effortlessly more of a facade than he cared to admit, sometimes. Especially these days, lacking in other outlets for his attention and focus. He has no interest in pursuing the topic, content with the fact that Koenma is appeased for now, even if neither of them is.

The fox smells the blood before anything else, and he's out of his own room to investigate the source almost immediately. He pauses in the open doorway, seeming to consider before stepping over the threshold into the room, not yet approaching but making his presence known.

“Hiei-”

The fire demon can't possibly think he'd be better off doing this alone, he didn't believe that.

Unspoken Thing

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject