sinningtree: (Y - YYH052_1622)
南野 秀一, Minamino Shūichi / 蔵くら馬ま Kurama ([personal profile] sinningtree) wrote in [community profile] genkaitemple2024-03-08 01:20 pm

Kurahi Catch-All: Unspoken Thing

Unspoken Thing
The hardest thing about life is
when the person who gave you the most memories
becomes a memory.
how odd it is to be
haunted
by someone that is still alive
Date
01/27/24 Injured: ⋙ Dark Tournament
01/29/24 Insomnia: ⋙ Dark Tournament
02/11/24 Intimate Bathing: ⋙ Post Series
02/25/24 Loss: ⋙ Post Series
03/04/24 Unspoken Thing: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
03/19/24 Defrosting: ⋙ Post Series
04/17/24 Garden: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
06/03/24 Kurama's Return: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
08/06/24 Picnic: ⋙ Post Series
08/22/24 Domestic Fluff: ⋙ Post Series
09/20/24 Sickness*: ⋙ Resurrection
Chronologically
01/27/24 Injured: ⋙ Dark Tournament
01/29/24 Insomnia: ⋙ Dark Tournament
02/11/24 Intimate Bathing: ⋙ Post Series
02/25/24 Loss: ⋙ Post Series
08/06/24 Picnic: ⋙ Post Series
03/19/24 Defrosting: ⋙ Post Series
08/22/24 Domestic Fluff: ⋙ Post Series
03/04/24 Unspoken Thing: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
04/17/24 Garden: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
06/03/24 Kurama's Return: ⋙ Resurrection [completed]
09/20/24 Sickness*: ⋙ Resurrection
Pending
MM/DD/YY Kissing Scars: ⋙ Timeline
MM/DD/YY Eating Together: ⋙ Timeline
MM/DD/YY Swear To Me: ⋙ Timeline
Blank
jaganshi: (you'll never finish me)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-25 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)

It had been Hiei's prerogative to appear here without announcing himself ahead of time, but now that they were both here... he wasn't even sure what his intention had been. He had whittled away free time in Makai before without feeling the urge to appear here to be with Kurama, Yukina and the children. Deep down he knows it's because he yearns for the peace that the fox's presence provides, even if now it is a bit more rife with mixed feelings.

Not looking at him helps - or at least it does at the moment. There's no distraction with the combined thrill and betrayal of knowing that Kurama is back, that someone he'd thought he would have to content himself with never seeing again is suddenly there, again.

"... I can't trust you." It's quiet, but he's still talking. Somehow, miraculously, Hiei is still standing there to talk. Expressing what he feels even if it is not really what the other man may want to hear... or maybe he does expect it, who knows by now. He had trusted him once, and this is where they had ended up. To trust the same fox spirit again seemed a lot like a very stupid decision. Beyond that, he is not sure he could withstand something like that again.
jaganshi: (no point in counting)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-26 01:16 am (UTC)(link)

"You weren't." He can admit that much - there's no use in pretending like he hadn't heard that plan many times over, and toward the end of Kurama's human lifespan had begun attempting to rail against it even harder. At first, he'd thought of it as a bit of morbid theater for the fox or something if he's honest. After all, how many times had they had quiet, private little conversations murmured between them like secrets in the same room he'd come back to again and again since Kurama had died?

Hiei's brows furrow, jaw working as he tries to place it all together. Tries to figure out what he feels he can say in this moment, or whether he wants to just trash the discussion altogether. Did it matter, now that it had happened? Knowing that Kurama also acknowledges the damage done to any concept of 'them' that the youko had fought so hard to put together over many years and much strenuous effort?

"But you also -" He stops again, sighing, clearly struggling within himself but also fighting to make his end of things known. More than he had already tried to, anyway.

"You said you wouldn't leave me. Many times." And Hiei had taken that to heart, as seriously as any other agreement he had made with the Youko as his partner in many things beyond heists as it would come to pass. A little too much, as Kurama had left him in a very permanent fashion. An issue a little too close to heart for the imiko who had never had anyone except perhaps Yukina to lean on or trust so implicitly prior to allowing Kurama in. A little of his own private damages rearing their ugly heads yet again in Hiei's short lifespan.
jaganshi: (no point in counting)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-26 02:16 am (UTC)(link)

It had been partial denial, of course. What being wants to face down their partner’s mortality in the face? The reality that he would have many more centuries alone than he’d had years with him had hit a little harder. Add on too his already fruitful complexes about abandonment and being alone and the fire apparition had been a twisted up mess ever since.

Resolving himself to be alone had been easy enough. He’d been taught the lesson three times now - how many would it take for it to well and truly sink in?

That bitter tone seeps back in as Kurama goes on, that thought in mind. How many times did he need to learn that lesson?

“You shouldn’t have.” Devoted a life that short to him, a sweet kind of cruelty for a demon such as himself. Hiei had been irreparably broken since he had been born, after all. And no matter how often the others tried to tell him that he was different, that he could be better… his habits won out.

“I don’t need to be taught a lesson a fourth time about being alone.”
jaganshi: (you can forget it)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-27 12:28 am (UTC)(link)

Hiei would have rather been left as he was, withdrawn and alone as he had been before ever crossing paths with Kurama in the first place. To have him, their relationship, to grow comfortable and feel as safe as he ever has in the Youko's presence and then have it torn away was far worse than never knowing what it was like in the first place. He could have saved himself so much in the way of mental anguish by simply refusing to grow that close with the Youko, by keeping things absolutely business.

Moving on is out of the question when he doesn't want to feel it again at all. In the ruthless world of demons, it was simple math - to not open himself up for this kind of mental and physical pain was the simplest path to never dealing with it again. Spending so much time and effort on another person who could be as fleeting as his knowledge of what affection was like did not make sense - he could simply focus on his training and keep his mind in a single line.

The fire apparition offers a sharp tch as Kurama says he is not alone. He is not, not with Yukina and the children, but it is not the same. And Yusuke, once he realizes that Hiei is the same as ever and will not change, will go anyway. He was simply saving him the effort of trying to "redeem" him in that way that Yusuke Urameshi was so damn adept at. Sinking into old habits in response to trauma was old hat.

The clipped tone from Kurama seems to set off something in him, Hiei turning again to face Kurama with that wild edge in red eyes, voice a low growl as he fires back, acerbic. It would seem some part of that has hit a nerve.

"I asked you to stay, not to come back!"
jaganshi: (you are the devil)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-27 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)

Of all the things that Hiei could anticipate, turning back around to come face to face with Yōko Kurama was not one of them. Not that it would change what he had to say, of course, and with the proverbial cat out of the bag, Hiei lets loose with energy too. It would alert the children even more than the new energy of Kurama’s demon form, but hopefully it wouldn’t mean they would come running there headlong.

There is no way to be sure that he wouldn’t be attacked shortly, of course, and doesn’t want to have to calculate for the children’s safety as well.

Despite it all, Hiei still does not want to fight Kurama like this.

Still, the comment about time travel and being unable to change the past spurs a half-hearted sneer, Hiei all too able to continue firing off half truths as his wishes in the moment. Pushing at the Yōko even as he sees the evidence of his inner turmoil standing before him.

“Then leave us there, Kurama. You can hold that pretty little story in your head as long as you want. Who I am to stop you?” From dying, from insisting that he was still dedicated to him despite that forced separation, for thinking that they might stand a chance now.. the list goes on.
4tails: (YYH056_7475)

[personal profile] 4tails 2024-03-27 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Kurama isn't entirely certain whether Hiei's energy surge was meant as a threat or not, seeing that it was intentional rather than a result of involuntary transformation. Which is enough to have his posture straightening cautiously as he watches him, wheels clearly turning.

The words that follow have golden eyes narrowing in thought and he watches Hiei for a long moment without responding, dragging out the silence as he considers his next move. The redhead's inflection of tone and expressive nature are no longer there to be so easily read, the fire demon's barbs seemingly falling on deaf ears as the fox responds with an air of indifference.

“If that is truly what you want.”
Edited 2024-03-27 17:46 (UTC)
jaganshi: (paved in gold paid in blood)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-27 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)

The loss of his human form’s more available expressions is one he feels keenly. As much as Hiei sometimes prefers the silver yoko in this form, he is also keenly aware that he should watch his step, now. That Kurama here is not as forgiving as his human form, and damn near impossible to read on top of it.

He wouldn’t dare to use the Jagan in either form to know, either.

Hiei watches Kurama warily, ready to dart or grab his sword if need be. Still he’s unsure as to what the motivation is here, though he does have the gall within him to growl lowly as Kurama speaks.

No, it isn’t what he truly wants, but what he thinks is better to protect himself. Kurama surely knows this, as he’d pointed out before, but as it stands now Hiei refuses to budge from the hill he has apparently elected to die on here.

“Y-“ Hiei finally gathers himself to respond, teeth bared in what had probably been an emphatic, untrue confirmation that this was what he wanted, when a little voice pipes up behind him.

Uncle Hiei?’ The fire apparition deflates near immediately, turning to find Hina as the brave one who chose to actually investigate what was going on. Even Hiei can’t pretend to be annoyed as she shuffles closer at his acknowledgement, energy settling as she attaches herself shyly behind her Uncle’s leg, curious about the “new” person in front of her.

Who’s that?’ Hiei sighs, unable to maintain any kind of aggression with her there, a hand reaching gently for her shoulder.

“Kurama. It’s fine-” Hiei pauses, then, listening to the small sounds he hears behind them. “Are you all out here?”

Well we knew you were here-

Hiei sighs, resisting the urge to curse even though it’s a fair point.
4tails: (YYH092_5659)

[personal profile] 4tails 2024-03-27 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
The demon form was an effective mask in times like these, not that he typically needed it - when he went into a situation prepared to shield himself, he could do so with little effort, even as Shuichi. This war of wills was far more dangerous than any straightforward battle though, he wasn't the one that wanted to shut the other out. Not consciously, at least.

Kurama's gaze shifts with the growl, expression remaining as neutral as ever before the slightest flicker of a reaction almost starts across his features - quickly enough turned to surprise at the sound of a completely different voice interrupting them.

Golden eyes lower to Hina with the same automatic smile typically reserved for the children - even if it might be a hair tense - as if to support her Uncle’s response concerning his identity. If anything, the presence of the children that so calm the fire apparition only set him more on edge.

The fox can't help the short laugh that escapes him with her response though. It was true enough, and something about the two of them being caught unawares by a pack of children was a little too much for him at the moment. In the flurry of activity that follows with the rest of the children surfacing, Kurama debates making a quick exit.

“I suggest you consider your answer more carefully next time, Hiei.” He knew exactly what the fire demon was about to do before being interrupted, despite being warned not to lie to him. In this form especially, Kurama was aware of every little tell that he gave off. ”I'd hate for you to make a decision that you come to regret.”
jaganshi: (you'll never finish me)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-27 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)

Hiei will be thankful, later, that the children had managed to sneak up on them. At the very least they managed to send in the youngest sibling fast enough that they didn't hear very much of the tense conversation between them, but it was enough that their energy spiked where Yukina could feel it, Hiei supposed. Bad enough that the ice apparition meets him with a steely expression as he returns the children to their part of the compound, ushering the fire apparition away from the children to speak with her.

... Kurama will no doubt hear the kids talking about how mad their mother was, and the fact that they'd had a brother and sister discussion that the children were not allowed to be privvy to. At the very least the rest of his impromptu visit passes without incident, but it is because they are actively avoiding one another's presence. When they had to be in the same room, Hiei kept his attention on the kids and Yukina, leaving the tenuous subject of their relationship where they had kept it when they last spoke.

Hiei returns, again unannounced, energy suppressed, a few weeks later. He slips in quietly and quickly, though not without some marker that he has arrived - a pungent waft of blood and some spatter on the wooden walkway outside of Hiei's door mark his arrival. He doesn't even spare the focus to fully close the door, his attention wrapped up in getting at least a passing dressing on the injury until Yukina returned. Kurama is there of course, he can smell him in the area, but the fire demon's pride prevents him from going to find him for assistance.

The fox will find Hiei with wrapping in his teeth, some poultice of unknown origin slathered as best he could on a large, rather wide injury that stretches over his shoulder. At the moment he is attempting to make a sling to keep his arm from moving and re-opening the injury with movement.

.. He's a bit clumsy one-handed, but he may eventually get it done.
jaganshi: (high speed)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-27 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)

Red eyes flicker over for only a moment to check who is approaching, confirming more than suspicion. He is far more focused on getting the injury at least stabilized to start pissing and whining about the fox's presence in his space or to pick another fight. For the moment, anyway, he is more focused on keeping tension on the bandage he is attempting to sling over his shoulder one-handed as a makeshift sling to immobilize his arm. At least until Yukina (or Kurama, if he'd like to) can take a look at it.

There is only so much he can see with how the injury falls.

After a moment he seems to understand that Kurama may want a prompting of some kind, doing his best to talk out of one side of his mouth. "I'm trying to sling it until Yukina can heal me."

He won't assume that Kurama would like to be put to the task, of course, content enough to nap or distract himself otherwise until his sister returns from her errands.
jaganshi: (now i'm losing it all)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-28 12:15 am (UTC)(link)

"- Kurama -" The fire demon begins to do something akin to talking Kurama down from swooping in to help, but the bandage is out of his hand so quickly he opts to let it go. After all, he hadn't specifically asked for further assistance, and if Kurama wanted to give it, it meant relief a bit quicker than waiting for Yukina. It also risked less blood on the floor and less chance of shocking the kids when they all trundled back to the temple. "It wouldn't be the first time I've waited."

And for long periods, too, while the fox spirit had been dead. Or in limbo, though Hiei doesn't know that detail just yet.

Red eyes turn down as Kurama fusses, left unsure how to behave with the fox's focus so singled in on him at the moment. It.. leaves him feeling warm in that pleasant, cared-for way.. at least until his eyes alight on that stone. Suddenly there is a cold pit in his stomach, the realization that Kurama had that stone, had maybe always had it through everything before.. It takes the wind out of him, and for a moment Kurama's words are lost in the flurry of thoughts and sudden cold stone in his belly.

The realization that he's being spoken to suddenly sinks in, but the fire demon sounds distracted. "It's.. I don't know. I got it in Demon World."
jaganshi: (high speed)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-28 01:10 am (UTC)(link)

"I know.." He knows that Kurama is capable of helping, but at the same time... why? That's also an easy question if he considers the details, considering that Kurama had already said he piece so far as to why he had come back. He lets Kurama finish up with what he wants to do for his shoulder, feeling numbed but not in the way that would be advantageous when it comes to think kind of injury.

Yes, he would heal up physically in a matter of hours, but the idea of being so exposed as Kurama having the only hirui he has ever made, to his knowledge, now hanging around his neck...

It's worse than any other potentially embarrassing first experience that Kurama had been with him to fumble through. He wouldn't be able to explain why if he tried, but suddenly Hiei very much regrets showing up here when Yukina's energy was not around very much. His response to Kurama is probably not very encouraging, not with the few moments it takes him to, again, realize he's being spoken to, too busy being caught up in his own head about the stone around his neck.

"I'm fine." A lying liar through and through it would seem.

"You -" You have it, he means to say, but then stops, shaking his head. "Nevermind."
jaganshi: (i'm not taking the punishment)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-28 02:03 am (UTC)(link)

Don’t worry Kurama - he wouldn’t be moving. He's too busy being frozen to the spot trying to think of what the hell to do with himself, with this new development. All at once he has to wonder how long Kurama has had that stone - and who the hell gave it to him.

There are two options he is willing to bet on, one of which was his leaning.. but that is something to note for later. A suspicion that he could confirm another day, another time.

Hiei notices when Kurama freezes, rising up from his seated position a little as if he’s expecting someone unexpected to have arrived. No one is there, and it doesn’t take long for Hiei to connect the dots once he notices the fox’s expression.

“… you’ve had that the entire time, haven’t you?” He doesn’t know how he feels, now, knowing this. That Kurama had every bit of evidence of how deeply he felt his loss from the start. Enough that Hiei, a demon who did not cry, had left an extremely rare and valuable trinket for a dead man.
jaganshi: (now i'm losing it all)

[personal profile] jaganshi 2024-03-28 02:42 am (UTC)(link)

Hiei had thought, perhaps foolishly, that no one who knew the value of that stone would be going by Kurama’s head stone enough to notice it or even take it for safe keeping. A stupid thought, apparently, even when he’d been careful to wait a few years. He’d thought it would mean a faded memory for a human lifespan, a piece of stone for someone whose name hadn’t been his true one in the first place.

And now here he was, wearing it, but also mentioning if he wanted it back. Hiei blinks, then, but he already knows the answer. Hirui are meant to stay with the ones they were made for. Only in his own odd case had Hiei’s ended up and stayed with Mukuro, Yukina’s becoming his by her refusal to take it back.

“No. I don’t want it.” If he had wanted to keep it he wouldn’t have left it at his headstone, he thinks.

“They should stay with who they’re made for, anyway.”

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